Thoughts give us the opportunity for growth. Allow your thoughts and feelings to be space for curiosity, observe your thoughts instead of being so quick to use them against yourself.
When we feel bad, the first thing we do is take the emotional baseball bat and beat the daylights out of ourselves.
Thoughts are just that…thoughts. It means nothing until you give it meaning and when we Do give it meaning, it’s usually not the truth.
What if our thoughts aren’t our own to take on and put in our purse as if they belong to us? What if those thoughts are opinions, suggestions and bad advice that come from people who really don’t know better because the only thing they can do is speak to us from a space of their own desires and experiences.
Here’s what to do to move through all the muck our brains offer us that is no longer helpful-
- Investigate those thoughts
- Disprove them, because we know they’re not true
- Find a thought that leads to good feelings
Now, what I’m not saying is that you should be feeling great all day every day! Life is 50/50, but feeling bad is NOT our natural state. As humans, we go toward pleasure. It’s how we’re built. We’re also built to feel all the feelings and not die contrary to what our brains would lead us to believe.
Let’s look a little deeper:
Investigate your thoughts-
You don’t have to know where the thought came from in order to move forward. If Aunt Betty or Grandpa gave it to you it isn’t really that helpful for choosing Today! We want to know how to choose differently at this moment.
Get curious. Ask yourself with light heartedness “Girl, is that really helpful to think? LOL”. Practice NOT making yourself feel worse for having the thought.
It’s okay to have thoughts. It’s an opportunity for growth and to practice seeing what feelings those thoughts are creating but here’s the real deal-
Your Thoughts Create Your Feelings and Your Feelings Drive ALL Of Your Actions And Decisions!
So, you just get to practice seeing what happens when you make choices from those thoughts and feelings.
Grab a notebook and pen and jot down those thoughts and feelings for about 2 weeks and see the results you create from particular thoughts and feelings.
Disprove those thoughts.
So often, we believe what our brain offers us. I want you to separate your brain from your being. Look at your brain as a small child who is trying to run your life at 5 years old. Not happening, right?! Good! Your brain doesn’t know anything but what it’s been taught so far, so as you’re trying to introduce new things to it, it’s going to buck back at you!
The brain is designed to keep you safe. Like the 5 year old, it doesn’t want to go to kindergarten in that big school, with all the weird people. The 5 year old wants to stay home with mommy where she’s safe and knows what’s going on, what to expect-no surprises!
Your brain just wants to keep you safe, so we have to have compassion, kindness and understanding with it. After all, you are asking it to do something it’s never done before and it’s scared shitless!
So as you are looking at your thoughts, and telling it “you are a bold face lie and the truth ain’t in ya!“, be gentle and maybe, instead, give it a “We’re okay!” rub on the back and leave the room.
When you’re disproving thoughts, take a deep breath. Breaths always help disrupt fear based thoughts so we can see things a little easier. When we have thoughts that no longer help us create what we want, we have to remind ourselves (and our brains) that we are no longer that person. We are no longer available for those beliefs and we’re moving into a higher frequency.
Let’s say that the thought really is true (even though, most often it really isn’t) but for example, we’re going to say that the hypothetical pen you’re holding is black and has black ink. There’s a couple of very important concepts I want to understand and practice. If you no longer want to use the black pen with the black ink because red feels better, remember:
- You’re no longer available for that type of situation
- Decide to see it as an opportunity to choose a different meaning
You don’t have to make it mean anything that you are choosing something different. It can simply be neutral until you are ready to create a new meaning for it.
You make it neutral by shaving the thought down to its bare bones. Here’s what that could look like:
I don’t want to use the black pen any more because it feels heavy.
The neutral is simply-Black Pen
From there, you can change the thoughts about it
It now becomes the black pen has served me well, now I’m ready for the red pen.
Don’t be fooled-this sounds like it could take minutes, but in fact, it just might take days to get into neutral feelings. And That’s Okay! Nothing has gone wrong. It’s a practice but when you do, you’re ready for more serving thoughts.
Finding believable thoughts that lead to good feelings-.
Now that you know how to get into neutral feelings and disprove the thoughts, it’s time to cultivate new beliefs that raise your frequency into the energy of the you, you want to be.
Beliefs are like clothes. You have to try them on. What fits me and feels good on me, may not be your thing!
If you go too big with clothes, you just won’t wear it, it won’t feel good. Same with beliefs.
If you try to tell your brain something it can’t believe, it simply won’t hear it or have it or it will turn it around and use it against you and make you feel terrible. You have to choose a belief your brain can actually use. It has to fit! It has to create feel good feelings.
Most of us try to convince our brains that we can follow that diet, make a million dollars or be happy in a failing relationship, but your brain is not stupid!
Start with something believable for your brain. For example, if you want to change your diet, it may be more helpful for you to start with something you can do that hour instead of an entire week. Your brain will hit you with the feel good dopamine giving you the opportunity to take inspired action and make good decisions that lead to the results you want-prompting the cycle to start again and again.
Or instead of trying to convince your brain that you’re gonna make a $1mill in your business but you haven’t made a dime yet, try a smaller belief like, I can connect with 1 person today or I can share 1 blog post. It sounds small, but it ALL adds up (if you believe that!). If you try to take on the belief that you can make $5k today and your brain doesn’t get on board, it will just turn that belief around into a Mocking Margaret “Do you really think you can make $5k in one day even though you haven’t made a dime? Just a dummy!”
Again, start small. Those wins may be small to you but they are mighty and are helping you step into this new identity who has the outcomes you desire. You can do this!
Okay, you have a lot to work with here so I’m gonna leave you to it but before I go, I want to let you know, these are the concepts I teach in The Soul Led Visionary Experience, a space for introverts, multi-passionates, generators and manifesting generators to calibrate to their next level identity and create a fuck yes decision making process so they can create a life and business that completely blows their minds. If you want support, you’ll want to join us today. Here’s the link-CLICK HERE
F/ck Yes Decisions Happen Here!